I know that a story like this isn't as important as, say, the early handover of Iraq to the new government and the bloodbath that ensued or the new interest rate hike or the fact that one of the Olson Twins has an eating disorder. But this is just too good, the temptation is too much. Must...resist...urge...to...talk...about...Dick...Cheney...ah, screw it.
Cheney Curses Out Sen. Leahy on Senate Floor
Now before this little rant takes flight, rest assured I'm not going to make fun of the fact that Cheney was stupid enough to act like a raving lunatic in front of the press and reporters because he's done it so many times, I can set my watch to it. And I'm not going to criticize him for the fact that he used the "f-word" because if using it in public were a federal crime, I'd be writing this week's post from Guantanamo Bay. I'm not even going to make the usual cracks about the fact if the said word raised his blood pressure 1/10th of an inch, he'd slip into a cardiac coma faster than Jim Fixx after a morning jog and a bacon eating contest.
No, what's truly funny here is the context surrounding the curse word and the way in which Cheney talked about the incident after it hit the fish wraps. First of all, it was during a group photo on the floor of the Senate, which means somewhere in this world has to be a picture of Cheney bawling out Leahy, which if I ever find will replace the picture on my computer desktop of Condoleeza Rice playing hopscotch.
He started it (that's right, all you kindergarten teachers out there, he started it) by getting in Leahy's face about his criticism of alleged improprieties in the contracts awarded to Halliburton just after the US declared victory in Iraq. Cheney's probably mad because he's been taking a lot of flak over being a former Halliburton CEO in the midst of this mess. In Cheney's defense, I'd feel a little miffed over the fact because even if the charges are false, it still makes him look like Professor Plum being caught with the revolver in the conservatory.
So Leahy counteracts with the classic "Your mama's so fat, she couldn't jump to a conclusion" snap and Cheney tells him to "(rhymes with duck) off" or "(sounds like hockey puck) you." Apparently, there were some Southern grandmothers on the floor that day who were righteously shocked by his behavior and the word hit the street quick. I'm also guessing one of them gave him a spanking, but it's too disturbing to think about. I know...too late.
Now, here's the best part. In an interview with the Fox News Channel (where our motto is "Fair and Balanced, Schmair and Balanced..."), Cheney not only confirmed that he said it but that he "felt better after I said it." On the one hand, I'm thrilled there's a politician in this world who's willing to act like a human being and not cow-tow to the throes of political correctness in the name of keeping their job. But on the other hand, this is also a desperate ploy to get some approval points after seeming stiffer than Al Gore laid out on the slab for three straight years in office. Take my word for it, Secretary of State Colin Powell will be the opening act at this year's Def Comedy Jam.
Cheney Curses Out Sen. Leahy on Senate Floor
Now before this little rant takes flight, rest assured I'm not going to make fun of the fact that Cheney was stupid enough to act like a raving lunatic in front of the press and reporters because he's done it so many times, I can set my watch to it. And I'm not going to criticize him for the fact that he used the "f-word" because if using it in public were a federal crime, I'd be writing this week's post from Guantanamo Bay. I'm not even going to make the usual cracks about the fact if the said word raised his blood pressure 1/10th of an inch, he'd slip into a cardiac coma faster than Jim Fixx after a morning jog and a bacon eating contest.
No, what's truly funny here is the context surrounding the curse word and the way in which Cheney talked about the incident after it hit the fish wraps. First of all, it was during a group photo on the floor of the Senate, which means somewhere in this world has to be a picture of Cheney bawling out Leahy, which if I ever find will replace the picture on my computer desktop of Condoleeza Rice playing hopscotch.
He started it (that's right, all you kindergarten teachers out there, he started it) by getting in Leahy's face about his criticism of alleged improprieties in the contracts awarded to Halliburton just after the US declared victory in Iraq. Cheney's probably mad because he's been taking a lot of flak over being a former Halliburton CEO in the midst of this mess. In Cheney's defense, I'd feel a little miffed over the fact because even if the charges are false, it still makes him look like Professor Plum being caught with the revolver in the conservatory.
So Leahy counteracts with the classic "Your mama's so fat, she couldn't jump to a conclusion" snap and Cheney tells him to "(rhymes with duck) off" or "(sounds like hockey puck) you." Apparently, there were some Southern grandmothers on the floor that day who were righteously shocked by his behavior and the word hit the street quick. I'm also guessing one of them gave him a spanking, but it's too disturbing to think about. I know...too late.
Now, here's the best part. In an interview with the Fox News Channel (where our motto is "Fair and Balanced, Schmair and Balanced..."), Cheney not only confirmed that he said it but that he "felt better after I said it." On the one hand, I'm thrilled there's a politician in this world who's willing to act like a human being and not cow-tow to the throes of political correctness in the name of keeping their job. But on the other hand, this is also a desperate ploy to get some approval points after seeming stiffer than Al Gore laid out on the slab for three straight years in office. Take my word for it, Secretary of State Colin Powell will be the opening act at this year's Def Comedy Jam.
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