There comes a day in every nation's history when the unthinkable happens. A day that can literally rip the fabrics of our souls apart. The kind of day that Frankling D. Roosevelt once described as "a day that will live infamy."

That day is today.

Penthouse Magazine Could Cease Publication Soon

The porn magazine that's been the ugly, annoying, hyperactive younger brother with epilepsy to Playboy could be going out of business really soon. And if that weren't enough of a kick in the firm, toned and airbrushed ass, the mag's publisher Bob Guccione could lose his business, his livelihood and his not-so-fabled mansion within a week!

Now if this isn't a sign that the economy is flatlining faster than a coked up porn fiend, then I don't know what is. What kind of world do we live in when the holy deity of a pornography empire can't even save enough coin in the bank to feed his six girlfriends and keep his golden toilet glowing to a constant, clear, mirror shine?

Then again, Penthouse was always running behind Playboy's (and pretty much ever other porno mag's) coattails. It never really filled any specific niche during it's run on that black covered rack behind the counter at the 7-11. Playboy is for the swank, three-piece business suited, hundred-thousand dollar a year salary snob with a tasty for non-fruit flavored martinis. Hustler is for the middle class, slightly goth, minimum wage punk who likes watching "Married...with Children" on DVD after a hard day at the steel mill. Juggs is for...guys who like chicks with abnormally huge juggs.

I'm really getting too deep into this week's story, I think I'll just shutup now.