I'm sitting here tonight writing tonight's "NewsRants" watching the Oscars and vowing for once to watch it the whole way through. Not that I really care who wins, it's just three hours of television that doesn't mention "Saddam Hussein," "war" or "Dixie Chicks" for more than 247 times in one half-hour. Technically, they were only mention 147 times during the Oscars, so it was a relief to watch to say the least.

I wish I could say the same for this little piece of news.

Respiratory Outbreak Strikes Asian Continents

Apparently, there's this new illness that spreading across China and some other Asian countries called SARS which stands for "some ailment that really scary-and -couldn't-get-any-attention-in-the-media-if-it-
infected-Saddam-Hussein's-brain-and-made-him-think-he-is-the-artist-formerly-known-as-Prince". So far, it's made over 700 people sick, and if that wasn't scary enough, it's infected the head of a major hospital in Hong Kong. So far, he's only experiencing pneumonia and symptoms of SARS, but doctors have diagnosed him with a strong case of "irony."

But with scares comes fear. Many schools across the infected regions have been closed and students sent him to prevent them from potentially spready the disease. Homes have been quarantined. I'm just hoping they don't outlaw breathing in the next few weeks.

I'm sure the scientists of the world will converge on this illness and wipe it off the face of the earth before it gets too out of control. Sadly, I'm afraid not many of them know about it since it's taken a back seat to that other illness we call war. I don't want to get all "Susan Sarandon" on you here (although God knows that I'd love to get all of Susan Sarandon over here, HEY NOW!), but the media has done a lousy job of bringing this to the front and center of everyone's attention.

Of course, I'm sure once Prince gets sick, the press will be all over it like moths on a cheap suit.